'Gr*c*, dr. H*rq* bilang ada masalah sama kelompok a, b, c, d, e, f. bisa minta perwakilan gak buat ketemu besok di IKK jam 10?' (nama kelompok disamarkan)
itu sms dari P*t*r
and i could only think of 1 reason. that would be the sole reason i got to meet with the module leader.
laporan praktikum, perbandingan sistem kesehatan, yang dipikirnya bisa dikumpul sehari sebelum ujian dan tau2 cuma dikasih sehari bikin untuk dikumpulin.
waktu diumumin suruh kumpulin, anggota kelompokku dah pada ilang.
jadi deh aku yang ngerjain sendiri.
disaster.
i couldn't think of anything.
mau apa nih openingnya? itu yang bener2 bikin saya susah.
ya iyalah, laporan 10 orang kok yang ngerjain 1 orang doang.
akhirnya f*l*x yang baik hati ngirim laporan kelompoknya buat ngasih liat format.
trus saya liat sumbernya
trus saya liat laporannya
wiiiiii
openingnya bagus nih
pasang ah
ganti bagian jerman jadi thailand
intinya saya bikin yang bagian thailand dari 0
tapi yang pendahuluan sampai indo, paste dari klompok f*l*x
trnyata alasan dipanggil bener
i can't really tell them, i have my own pride of not cheating from elementary until... that day.
tapi perwakilan kelompok f*l*x (yang lagi ke Taiwan ikut AMSA) ternyata *t*
....
lupa
*t* seklompok juga sama l*cy
those two were very nice to me, even after i admitted the truth
or maybe they're forced to have mercy on me because i cried very much.
aku bener2 gak tau mau ngapain habis itu, mungkin mau ke jembatan layang trus loncat ke bawah, atau nyebrang pas lampu lagi ijo, atau apapun yang bisa bantu aku hilang dari rasa malu.
berlebihan? aku bilang nggak. ini skali2nya aku curang dan malah ketauan. orang2 lain rasanya lebih curang dari aku, tapi gak ketauan. aku sial banget kan?
balik ke parasit, ketemu dengan sesama defendant. entah kenapa mereka hepi2 aja. jadi aku yang berlebihan? aku gak ngerti gimana mereka bisa hepi saat bikin nilai laporan 2 kelompok jadi 0.
but i couldn't say anything. I just cried and cried. i could see the pity in their eyes.
i really wanted to curse at my group, but seeing them being so .... ordinarily behaving like usual, i couldn't help but shut my mouth. I couldn't ruin the atmosphere just because of my ego.
herannya, l*cy ngajak aku nonton. bareng *t*. bareng p*t*r (yang gak jadi nonton pada akhirnya karena harus ngurusin masalahku dan anak2 lain ke dr. N*n*). bareng p**l.
nonton public enemies di PI setelah sebelumnya makan di pancious (kali ini choco berry single waffle). maybe because of the chocolate, plus knowing that l*cy & *t* didn't hate me, and that *t* himself was going to come, i get a little bit happier. P**l and p*t*r were also nice, they're included in the batch of good boys according to my list, haha.
habis nonton trus kliling2 karena nunggu 3 in 1 buat p**l pulang. makan di honeymoon dessert (nothing special), trus jalan2 di kinokuniya (ketemu orang jepang asli, ahah), sama gramed (beli barang buat tukar kado pas baksos). kami bicara banyak hal, banyak banget, sampe aku lupa apa aja yang aku omongin dengan mereka. tapi mungkin karena itu juga aku agak sedikit lupa betapa 'gelap' siang itu.
akhirnya pulang, aku diantar p**l sampai pramuka. jam setengah 9. angkot? males deh. lagi gak mood. lagi gak tenang. lagi emosi.
langsung nyamber taxi lewat (blue bird, kata papa harus, kalo gak ya gak boleh naik taxi lain). I'm just too tired to think, do you think that i'm spoiled?
aku baru sadar betapa jauhnya rumah sama kampus. gerbang tol 2 kali = 5500 dan 1500, trus taxinya sndiri 54000.
jauh, jauh lebih mahal, dibanding angkot yang cukup 2000 & 4000.
but i don't give a damn. I'm a stupid, obnoxious, spoiled brat, right?
sampai rumah charge hape (yang baterenya sumpah jelek banget), trus sms ke-4 mahluk itu. intinya, i'd do anything for them, regretful for ruining their holiday, and thankful that they're there just for me, or maybe i'd have succumbed to my own darkness and killed myself.
i can't really handle being ashamed, if you didn't know that already. my pride is too high.
and i'm ashamed not just because of my sin, but also because i cried for the umpteenth times in front of *t*.
karena lebih dari setengah jam bersama p**l berdua doang, i got to see him a little better. he's too gentle and nice, it'd be nice to have a lover like him. haha.
is it what they call as being an adult? so he handled me who's a child and behaved like a responsible adult?
i don't care. I was really glad he handled me that way, otherwise i wouldn't even dare to look straight at his face.
actually, those who get *t* or p**l as lover should throw a party for a week to celebrate. They're just too good.
those who think that i'm strong... sorry, i'm the weakest of all....
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